I went out tonight to go get some rice at the rice place that's just a few blocks away from my house. I put in my order and went out to walk around for a minute, because, for some reason, this restaurant always takes forever to put together my rice. So I walked over to the new antique store. And it appears that there are now at least two couches that I need. As well as a couple of lamps. Then next door, at Una Mae's, I found two skirts, and a pair of tennis shoes that I love. And then, while at the 7-11, I saw that the fabulous, big green can of ice tea that I've had my eye on for weeks is still available. But, no, I told myself: not today. And I bought none of those things. I just wanted to get my rice and go home. So, I went back to Mucho Gusto and, lucky for me, my rice was almost ready. That's how the woman at the counter put it. Almost ready. Suggesting to me from her tone that this was (as we both well understood) a very special order of rice. And that they were probably, right then, as we lived and breathed, just putting onto my rice some very special, final, finishing touches. And, as everyone knows, such a masterpiece of an order of rice takes time. So I waited. And I looked around. And I noticed that I was the only one left in the restaurant. Yet, curiously, from what I could glean (through the ever swinging kitchen doors), the cooks appeared to be very busy. And I need to pay my phone bill. The end.
Ok. That was a trick.
My question is this: If I end a story in such a way, is that a non sequitur?
Really. What is a non sequitur?
The dictionary defines it as: an inference or a conclusion that does not follow from the premises.
And I get that.
(I don't. That was another trick.)
It all started years ago when someone I worked with accused me of ending all of my sentences with non sequiturs. Now, even though I'm not certain what a non sequitur is, I don't think it's possible that I ended all of my sentences with non sequiturs. Maybe he was exaggerating. And maybe he didn't realize that I was joking around. There was some kind of misunderstanding between us. Which, as I recall, was never quite cleared up, and led to lots of attitude from both sides.
Meanwhile. Non sequiturs. This has been bothering me for some time.