Mar 4, 2005

not a trick:

I went out tonight to go get some rice at the rice place that's just a few blocks away from my house. I put in my order and went out to walk around for a minute, because, for some reason, this restaurant always takes forever to put together my rice. So I walked over to the new antique store. And it appears that there are now at least two couches that I need. As well as a couple of lamps. Then next door, at Una Mae's, I found two skirts, and a pair of tennis shoes that I love. And then, while at the 7-11, I saw that the fabulous, big green can of ice tea that I've had my eye on for weeks is still available. But, no, I told myself: not today. And I bought none of those things. I just wanted to get my rice and go home. So, I went back to Mucho Gusto and, lucky for me, my rice was almost ready. That's how the woman at the counter put it. Almost ready. Suggesting to me from her tone that this was (as we both well understood) a very special order of rice. And that they were probably, right then, as we lived and breathed, just putting onto my rice some very special, final, finishing touches. And, as everyone knows, such a masterpiece of an order of rice takes time. So I waited. And I looked around. And I noticed that I was the only one left in the restaurant. Yet, curiously, from what I could glean (through the ever swinging kitchen doors), the cooks appeared to be very busy. And I need to pay my phone bill. The end.

Ok. That was a trick.

My question is this: If I end a story in such a way, is that a non sequitur?

Really. What is a non sequitur?

The dictionary defines it as: an inference or a conclusion that does not follow from the premises.

And I get that.

(I don't. That was another trick.)

It all started years ago when someone I worked with accused me of ending all of my sentences with non sequiturs. Now, even though I'm not certain what a non sequitur is, I don't think it's possible that I ended all of my sentences with non sequiturs. Maybe he was exaggerating. And maybe he didn't realize that I was joking around. There was some kind of misunderstanding between us. Which, as I recall, was never quite cleared up, and led to lots of attitude from both sides.

Meanwhile. Non sequiturs. This has been bothering me for some time.


  1. I love the way you used led. I would have said lead and been wrong.

  2. I learned the art of the Non sequitor from Bloom County (if you remember that cartoon)

    It's when you are talking about one thing, and then switch the conversation - often mid sentence - to something completely different, often to the utter confusion of whomever you are speaking to.

    So what's with the rice? Why buy iy at a restaurant, and what's in it to make it special?

  3. I, myself, have a confession as well; I boldy go and split infinitives like a hacked up papaya.

    Perhaps you could've kindly pointed out to your collegue that he/she/it was simply too dull to follow your logic.

    That sometimes works well I've heard.


  4. non-sequiturs are hilarious and wonderful and make life much better, they are the raisins in the rice pilaf. my blog is chock full of them. non sequiturs, not raisins. and so, you should, if you have the time, eat more quiche. (see, like that)

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. oops!
    And to try to reconstruct that whole thing..

    Thanks to all!

  7. Uhm...just me but, you can get a box of minute made at the store for under $3 and micro-wave it for about 6 minutes...Ding, it's done.

    ...and don't let the "english major" get you down...he just probably wanted to use his "new word of the day."

  8. Non-sequitors are great. Continue to use them. Also, because it seems like a non sequitor to someone else doesn't mean that there wasn't a rational connection in your own mind.

    And although the dictionary says it may be a conclusion, I kind of feel that it is only a change in direciton, because of the word segue. Maybe just the etymological similarities confuse me.

    Speaking of rice...

  9. For a limited time only comments @frankenmonsterblog will feature a fill in the blanks format:

    blog ho, thank you for noticing my use of the word led. I admit I just recently learned the proper use of led. ____ ____ so that I could ___. I'm sure you remember ___. It's kind of like that. It's a long story, I'll have to ____ ____ a minute by minute break down of ____.

    lyv, thank you, that is the first time anyone has ever explained it to me. ____ ____ ____. Hard to imagine, but true. The rice is so ___ ___ ___, well worth the wait, and God knows I can't ___ ___ ___!

    Y'v, the whole thing about logic, as you understand, (and ___ ___) is underrated. He was dull. Splitting infinitives, very funny, ___ ___ ___, and ___! I'll have a piece of papaya, please..

    retarius, that photo kills me, so funny.. ___ ___ ! Ok?

    boabhan sith, this place makes rice like no other. ___ ___. You know? Word of the day.. I never ___ ___. Yeah he probably was..

    aughra, I laughed! Speaking of rice (and when am I not speaking of rice), ___ ___ ___! Don't hold me to this. Now segue, that is a great word. ___or ___ !

  10. I'm sorry. I'm hopeless at fill in the blanks...yet I don't need them as I catch the drift of the comment.

    I like king prawns in mine...that can sometimes take a while to cook too.

  11. How the heck was the rice???

  12. Must be a rice thing.
    I have a favorite Chinese restaurant. Every time I go and pick it up, it’s never ready. And the longer I wait to go and pick it up, the longer I wait at the counter. The last time I waited the longest. When I got there, they hadn’t even started my order. Following this logic, if I were to leave a day before I order it, not only should it be done, but I should have already eaten it.

    And the non sequitur thing... I would be a hypocrite if I expected others to make sense.

  13. I worked so that I could get that blue couch. I'm sure you remember how much I wanted it. It's kind of like that. It's a long story, I'll have to give you a minute by minute break down of the acquisition. will.

  14. Lyv, prawns, nice ___and ___ ___ . OK. ___ just ___ little lemon and ___. Not too shabby, no? ___ when ___.

    Kim, the rice was both ___ and ___. Those guys really know what they are ___ @ ___ ___.

    HW, seriously, you kill me. I ___ ___the same "if I ___ ___ the order yesterday.." sort of thing. I ___ ___don't know whether to say jinx, or just ___ ___! And about "I'd be a hypocrite", hillarious, so true.

    blog ho, ___ ___, you were off by about a nine million words. ___ it's OK, ___ ___ that ___is ___ ___!

    ..if there is a "next time". (walks away laughing)