Dec 4, 2004

one hour + computer

A few years ago, when I first went back to school, I had my first autocad class. And I remember sitting at my terminal for the first time and being like, How do you turn this computer on? The (poor) girl who sat next to me had to show me things like how to double click my mouse (Barb. Wherever you are, I'm sorry.. ). I cried a lot in that class. Real quietly, though, while trying to hide behind my monitor and my hair. I mention this to remind myself that there was a time when I didn't even have a computer. Because I just managed to spend the better part of two days doing things mostly computer related. Including some editing of this blog. And, you know, I've got other things to do. There's an indesputable time warp that occurs while working on the computer. Whether it's surfing around (hey, I've got a tv for that) to seemingly worthwhile applications like designing. Or editing this blog.. one hour+computer=TEN MINUTES!? WHAT. Where did the day go? My computer doesn't care. Don't play chess against your computer. The computer always wins. Don't get mad at your computer. It can sense this. It gets even. I might as well have layed on the couch for two days and stared into space. Same result. Same impact on my life. Remember what laziness entailed before this computer arrived in a forty five FedEx boxes a couple years ago? For the love of God, Victoria, be a human being.. be lazy like a human being. Be a lazy human being.. Maybe my computer is just waiting for a soul. It's all that's missing. The final piece of the puzzle. Man vs. the machine. It's the block of wood wanting to be a real boy. It's Pinocchio and Frankenstien. It just needs a soul (hey, like some people I know). So, maybe I should stop providing it with one, and ask just who is running this show in the first place? Yes, enough is enough. Listen up you hulk of a piece of plastic with your mess of wires and endless options, it is OVER. Got it? I have dishes, laundry, a cat box.. I have a life. OK. I've got Christmas cards to do. I've got grocery shopping to do. Things to mail. Like my RENT. Back off. You are but one tiny corner of my (life) office area/dining room. Just sit there quietly. Stop micro-managing me. I'm going out-of-doors now. I mean it. I've got my coat. I'm getting the hell away from you. Damn you, you damned computer!

1 comment:

  1. Be the Mistress of the Power Cord, Victoria. Even a laptop can't hold out for more than a few hours in the shadow of your omnipotence.