I have a problem.
Wow it feels good to just state it like that. I have a problem. Ok.
It all started about three weeks ago - when, one day, I became bored.
[boredom: the delusion that one's laziness is caused by something outside of oneself]
So, after a few attempts at playing chess against my computer - then adopting the pretense of "cleaning up this mess" - I just started smashing protons together.
I know. That's bad.
That's why it's so good.
I knew it was stupid - even as I was doing it. But I couldn't stop.
Protons are endlessly smashable (turns out).
Endlessly. Like play-doh. Or cookie dough.
And smashing protons is way better than, say, filing bills or cleaning desks.
Actually, I wanted to distract myself from the very bills that would reveal themselves at the bottom of the stack (on my desk).
So, after smashing protons together for about fifteen minutes I guess I lost interest and went to make a sandwich.
Nothing fancy. Just a PB and J.
Though I did toast the bread. And I used a little butter. That is, an omega3 infused "buttery spread".
Albeit, redundantly - it turns out the peanut butter was already infused with omega3!
But healthy - crazy but healthy. That's my motto.
So the sandwich was great.
And I forgot all about the earlier protons. And got on with the process of "hanging out", as they say.
That is, I did nothing for the rest of the day.
It was probably six or seven hours before I happened to walk past my office again.
It was then that I saw the black hole for the first time.
I was shocked.
The black hole was everything I had imagined it would be:
It was black. It was a hole.
It was floating three inches above from my stapler, just to the left of the lamp.
I noticed today that its dimensions have increased. It's at least three times the size it was yesterday.
I've checked around the apartment and nothing seems to be missing.
But still, how annoying?
..stupid black hole that never goes away..!