Nov 9, 2005

it takes the cake

But the cake is ok with that.

There is this thing, this hulk of plastic that plugs into the wall. Sounds come from it. And, I don't know why, but I'm really starting to like this thing.

I plug it in all the time.

Now I do. It took some time to get to that point.

And there's this other thing. It makes sounds sometimes, too.

I don't know what it is, but when I hold it up to my ear I feel that I am part of something.

Something bigger than myself.

And I like the way it lights up. But mostly, I like holding it up to my ear.

I get it now. About this thing. I do.

Sometimes I feel like doing one thing, yet I do another.

With both the initial feeling and resulting action being authentic manifestations of my will. Though, the two might seem inappropriately matched as items. For instance:

I'd like a cupcake = I avoid a cupcake.

To the point where one might think that I would hate to have a cupcake.

Where in reality it's:

Wow! Cupcake!

And I am very happy when I see this cupcake. It's good. Everything about it. The way it's not just another jelly doughnut (Ich bin ein Berliner.. Indeed I really am). The way it's not trying to be anything more than a cookie or a scone, yet is so much more (than a cookie or a scone). It makes my day.

I think, ..this cupcake, it's something else..

So, naturally, I feel compelled to approach this cupcake.

I say, just go over to the cupcake. It's ok..

And all I really want is to just go over to the cupcake. But then I freeze. I stop dead in my tracks. And for a beat I am paralyzed. And then I run away. In the opposite direction. Whatever that direction might be. Even if it is into a wall or another person.

It isn't beyond me (in moments such as this) to push past my own denial. No. I am keenly aware of the power that this cupcake has over me. But, I think, time. Next time, I won't run away from the cupcake..

But, it's no use. Next time comes and goes. And it's always the same thing. I run away. Even if the running is actually walking; even if the walking is actually just pretending to be suddenly distracted by the state of my own hand and fingernails.

And I realize that I'm crazy. But no matter what I do, or how much I promise myself not to allow the cupcake to confuse me, I continue with this kind of behavior.

It's nonsense.

And the whole thing gets out of hand. And takes on ridiculous proportions. Now I am not only disturbed by the cupcake situation, as it were, but by my lack of ability to cope when confronted by the cupcake.

To the point where I avoid not only the cupcake, but anything that might lead up to the cupcake. As the appearance of the cupcake (sudden appearance - the cupcake tends to appear suddenly) only leads to my distress.

I've gotten good at outwitting the cupcake. If any individual ever needed to learn better methods for avoiding a cupcake, I guess it would be in their interest to contact me.

Because, somewhere along the line, I developed an innate or heightened sense. I just know when the cupcake is about to materialize.

emergency: cupcake approaching. I repeat..

And on and on.

This, without having any logical reason for knowing that the cupcake is nearby.

It's crazy.

And my unnatural response to the cupcake only reinforces itself with each subsequent cupcake encounter.

(cupcake + avoid) x (me) = 1.8333 (etc)

And that's a problem.

Not that I have any problem with the cupcake itself.

Given that:

(cupcake + cupcake) x (cupcake) = cupcake

and that:

cupcake = good

it has to be that:

cupcake = ok

It's science.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! So... how did the new job work out? You never said.