lather, rinse, repeat

1. This blog is like someone I got stuck working with who always laughs at her own jokes, makes fake phone calls when she's bored (mostly on her hairbrush; mostly to her mom) and brags compulsively as a form of malice.

It's the constant bragging that really irks me. It seems to set in motion a now well worn routine of "their constant bragging" versus "my attempt to deflect their constant bragging".

This involves two opposing actions:

a. not to seem jealous = because I'm not
b. not to seem like I care = because I don't

It's a delicate balance. And, no matter the subject of their bragging, it's the idea that they want me to be jealous that distracts me from my original goal (that is, to dispel any notion that I am at all swept away by any of their self promoting ideas). This alone tends to bungle the operation (theirs and mine).

And it shows.

It breaks down as follows:

a. I'm not jealous
b. and I don't care
c. I might appear jealous by virtue of not caring
d. thus: I must pretend to care
e. without sounding jealous
f. even though I'm not jealous
g. and I don't care

And on and on.

And this is just between my blog and me. It gets worse with actual people.

2. After years of developing my recipe, I've finally learned how to make the perfect meatloaf.

And, guess what, it tastes just like the McCormick meatloaf packet.

McCormick packet = $3.00
My meatloaf recipe = $600.00

So, McCormick wins (again).

4. Each year I take note of the first leaf that falls in Autumn. It's funny how this always happens when I'm around.

I never pick up this leaf. I don't want to disturb the ecosystem. Of course, this was not always the case. Thus every single fall leaf collected by me (in both the tri-state area and Ireland) has since been returned to their rightful locales.

This took eighteen months and cost millions of dollars but it was so worth it.

Next mission: seashells