Mar 24, 2008

a recent email - proof that no case is ever really closed

Dear f,

I am currently dispatching to you from beneath my desk at work.
For this reason - and others that you will soon understand, I need to make this as brief as possible.

I wrote to you about three months ago. I was the woman having problems with three stalkers.

If you refer to that previous case, anything I fail to describe to you here (as I am rushing) will be outlined for you there.

Due to recent developments, I realize that I had not three, but five stalkers - all along.

Such a thing is unprecedented. I'm sure.

Despite our combined efforts to "handle" (what were) my three stalkers, the remaining two have recently made their presence known to me in ways both stealth-like and obvious.

Interestingly, the obvious ways in which I'm being manipulated - are far more disturbing to me than the stealth-like ways.

I guess it's the audacity. The outright boldness of such obvious maneuvers - clearly meant to confuse the victim into letting down her guard (a technique well documented in various military histories, as well as in at least two episodes of Bat Man) that frightens me.

Even though I can't account (despite meticulous record keeping) for their ability to remain under my radar (or yours) for the last three months - these goons are definitely connected to my first three stalkers. And are up to similar tricks.

Words like premeditated, and phrases like caught in the head lights, run amok through my mind all over again.

And I think, why me..?

I feel hunted.

Like a woodland creature (the similarity between me and Bambi not being lost on me) as they, as of this writing, are probably working together.

Not only do Four and Five (that's how I refer to them - as Four and Five) keep constant check on my every move - every second of my life, but seem almost virus-like in their ability to adapt.

With each twist and turn, they keep getting stronger, smarter and harder to out-wit (despite how skilled I am at all of this).

For example, last night, I got a text from Four (4:37 pm central standard time, according to my cell phone). He asked that I meet him after work at a predetermined place. I waited twenty three minutes (an old trick of mine) and responded:

c! u! ther RoCkSTaR ! <3

My first red flag?

When Four was ten minutes late (that's when I start to consider a person late, at ten minutes).

Though Four is routinely late, something told me that this was a ruse.

I always know something is off when the hair on the back of my neck stands up.

Then, like clock work, the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

It wasn't long before Four was twenty minutes late.

Then, thirty minutes late.

And - you get the idea.

Let's just say that I continued to wait, continued to drink (and bravely continued to pay for my own drinks) until the place closed.

Meanwhile, where was Four?

Outside. Spying on me. The entire time.

That's right.

Call it instincts. Call it ESP. Call it whatever you want.

Call it chilling.

(I certainly do)

As I'm sure you can imagine, my life has become a constant state of dodging, hiding, and (as of last week) donning wigs and other disguises just to get to and from everywhere.

Note: Five might be dumber than Four (and, for that reason, even more dangerous).

Five is not only all over my Myspace account, but replies to my messages and texts within the hour (as though he is completely unable to pretend that he's busy).


Please respond quickly.

Thanks - and Go Cubbies!
Missy Smith


Read this very carefully and do exactly as instructed:


Email your boss (don't touch your cell phone - it's bugged).

Ask your boss to come to your office immediately.

When he arrives - barricade the door.

Have him contact security.

Tell him that security already knows the situation.

They do.

I've briefed them on the matter. They're currently awaiting signals from you.

Have your boss tell security the code phrase:

We need help removing Missy Smith from the premises.

Security will know what this means.

Security has explicit instructions to make your departure appear like you are being reluctantly escorted out of the building.

Go along with it.

Not to frighten you - but much of the problem has been determined to be internal.

For this reason, any eyewitnesses should believe that they are seeing you being removed from the building against your will.

This is a safety measure meant to protect you through this - the first phase of our operation.

This requires you to be as convincing as possible:

Yell, fight, scream, bite. Be a total disgrace - whatever it takes.

After your departure I will meet you at a second location - which will be made known to you as soon as you have clearance.

At that point - we will begin the process of detaining your stalkers as well as providing you with your new identity.

Ironically, Bambi is in the works for your new secret name
(the government whole heartedly agrees that Bambi is fitting).

Until then, be brave
Go Cubbies!

No comments:

Post a Comment