Jul 9, 2005

a small plastic man on a motorcycle

There is an item on my shelf that I look at now and then, as well as admire and occasionally dust. It's a small action figure of a man riding a motorcycle. Though the motorcycle can not be attenuated in any way, the man riding the motorcycle can be posed in several different ways. As well as taken off the motorcycle altogether.

They are separate items intended to be regarded as one item.

Which, neither here, nor there, is important to remember when I am dusting. As it is easy to forget that they, the action figure and the motorcycle, are two separate items (particularly while dusting). So that some part of the whole usually gets dropped (in the process of dusting).

In any case, this particular piece of plastic rendered and molded to look like a man riding a motorcycle (posed in any number of ways) is impossible to ignore. As a subject he is rather intense. He's clearly taken a wrong turn in life. And is currently going through something that stands wholly outside the parameters of what is considered normal human experience.

Several clues have lead me to draw these conclusions.

1) His hair is on fire.

Though it is unexplained (he has yet to explain any of this to me) it is reasonable to presume that there was (or is) another, worse original fire that caused his hair to catch on fire. One worries about this.

2) The wheels on his motorcycle have also caught fire.

But there is a slight discrepancy in the above statement. One that I didn't consider right off the bat. That is, that the wheels on his motorcycle are not just on fire (though they probably were at one time) but rather are now made out of fire. This motorcycle runs on fire.

3) He has lost all his skin. His face is just a skull without skin or eyes.

Fire will do that.

He does have all of his teeth, though. So that he often looks like he is grinning a crazy, evil, permanent grin. But upon further contemplation, I realize that he isn't grinning. It's just that all of his teeth are exposed. He can't help it. He knows that the expression on his face is alarming. But, then, he isn't sorry:


And he just hasn't time for things like, "I'm sorry" or "thank you" or, for that matter, "please".

And one tends to let this slide.

4) What he is wearing is highly suspect.

It is what can only be called Post Apocalyptic black leather gear. Post Apocalyptic black leather having a certain, unmistakably serious quality (as fabrics go). And I've taken note that it is as serious and scary from a distance as it is up close.

5) All of this is made worse by hundreds of metal spikes that he has attached to outfit.

And he carries a thick, heavy chain (looped diagonally from one shoulder to his waist). I am certain that it (and the spikes) are probably necessary under the circumstances.

Though, again, what those circumstances are is beyond me.

And, it's just a hunch, but whenever I dare to look at him, I can't help thinking that all of this has just happened. That this represents Day One. That, as recently as yesterday, everything was just fine with this guy. That he was sitting at work pretending to be busy, thinking about maybe grilling some steaks, and making a mental note to remember to water the ficus.

And pow.

Something happened. But what? What is his deal?

This is the thing.


  1. Vic,

    This little man on a motorcycle you speak of is Ghost Rider. He's a Marvel Comics superhero. I think they're making a movie about him. If you can sit tight long enough, I imagine all your questions will eventually be answered.

    Godspeed, Victoria.

  2. damn, I was going guess Evil Kenivel, when the jump went wrong.

  3. You're too good for him...

    Just let him go.


    I know, the heat you two must have felt was exciting, but he's a flame.

    You'll only get hurt.


  4. Victoria. I will have to come back and re-read this again. I'm still having reoccuring nightmares after your hair post previously. I am going to do it one of these days... just walk in and get it all chopped off into some sassy style of the times. Until then, I'm stuck inside your last post...

  5. ghost rider...yes...though i imagine that's not the point.

  6. I actually see this question a lot as a motorcycle enthusiast. The average person doesn't realize that, when riding a motorcycle, you catch fire all the time.
    It's just part of the package, the allure, if you will. You can't "tear ass" all over the place without taking some heat.
    I rode to the store the other day. Ten minute drive. Caught fire twice.
    What are you gonna do?

  7. Victoria. Where are you??

  8. Such wonderfulness that it can only be Victoria: flaming motorcycles.

  9. Figuratively, I am the man on the motorcycle.

    Actually, aren't we all men on a motorcycle. I mean, think about it!

  10. While reading this post I started singing the 'Ghostrider' song off of The Crow soundtrack. Ah, memories.

    Great post. Oh, and I cannot believed you moved - you left Spider Incorporated Village or whatever bon mot that was?!

  11. Anonymous3:42 PM

    Are you talking about me?

    Todd Vodka

  12. Victoria. I'm sending the blog police out to check on you! Hurry back...