change or die

That is what my ex boyfriend said. Millions of years ago.

He recently passed away.

Did he say it - or was it understood?

Was it understood - or was it on spelled out on some small item on his desk? On a bookshelf?

The mystery that is my real life experience - that is now so long ago that I'm left wondering.

I love mysteries.

And common place mysteries rank pretty high. As this one. And it's so simple and small.

Anyone who has ever read me knows that I can access my memory given enough time and concentration. I can.

But this. It seems I have some kind of block when it comes to certain things.

Certain things.

I simply turn my head. I can't look. It's too final.

Mark is dead.

For how long have I been saying those words?

change or die

I assign them to Mark.

I mean them when I say them. I always have.

change or die..